Why everyone who is around me every day trying to help? I live in another world different from yours, but never ye may thrust you into things that can hurt you and hurt, like I did, you can never leave it. The problem is, that I can’t say exactly what happens to me .The reason I thought of a way different from others is that a summer night something happened that nobody had been able to forget.
Was that a person approached me and said: What's your name? And I told him my name, then told me that if I was a Neo. and in that moment I was paralyzed and then I said yes in a tone of fear. when I told him, he told me that if I wanted to go to your group and I said no, and he told me that if I did not go to group, he killed me…Anyway... We spent the night in a park and at the time and put many things in my head that I went crazy; and I want to live in a world where there is pain or grief, which only sounds music and dance ballet, like Swan Lake, and I want to be like someone is important for anybody. :$.
There are people who have persecuted me in this life, good and bad people, pedophiles, Neos, junkies ... People who have screwed me well were the Neos , but I felt part of something ... and not made it happier; As a person who is most of my days with me, I'm starting to hate it.. I don’t know why.
Now I have another thing in mind besides death, is my favourite movie: Black Swan ... She's perfect, but ... the problem is that I've gone crazy with the fucking movie... the movie is not out of my head.
I want to stay in my world, because when I try to go out, my lungs with air from screaming. I always cry day and night without knowing why! I always dream with some people... things that are not normal….in my soul There's a war, this is how I feel…. she is my guide or maybe they when I'm lost… When I look for happiness. I’m now in love with people who are perfect, is sad, very sad. In this life I am nothing. I guess I’m a bad person. People say I'm weird and I scare small children, but I don’t think so, but I think I'm crazy or maybe no, but my friends say I look like the Black Swan. I see things that are not real and I feel that in reality things don’t exist, is horrible because at first you have it under control but after time you see that no.
The only thing good that I have are my friends and my family, I want to be a dancer or maybe an actress… but all this is just a dream.
I’ve been thinking a lot… and I have taken this decision, you may I’m crazy and perhaps have the right. But they don’t know what I feel, I have my reasons wich are not ask me… They are better than to be alive or at least I think so.
This pain is unbearable also forgive you; when they see me here, in a dark bedroom, I can’t live under these circumstances. She makes me feel like I'm part of the world, unlike other people who hate me to death..... Thank you ... I love you, I need you more than anyone else. In one word I can sum up everything I have learned from life: Nothing. I love you too and I he will never stop loving you I will, these are the words I said to someone who said he loved me, Tomorrow will be harder, I have your scent on the head all day (...) If I lay on you any time also have to start again too. I just wanna be perfect, but I keep trying, I guess is my personality what makes people don’t love me… My personality is like the sweetgirl in Black Swan, She’s it is cold, fearful, fragile But I also look at black swan it is the opposite of the white Swan. I give my life for people who don’t do for me, I would, but why… I need to be less shy and say that I would die for these people ¿no? My life is like the life of a dancer, too stressful and obsessed with things that make no sense.For example with the Black Swan, always I’m thinking about that Up to a point where you think you are.
All I want in my life is that some people want me I can never know, my life is shit compared to these people…. Is like I’m always writing, crying, and nothing else…
Was that a person approached me and said: What's your name? And I told him my name, then told me that if I was a Neo. and in that moment I was paralyzed and then I said yes in a tone of fear. when I told him, he told me that if I wanted to go to your group and I said no, and he told me that if I did not go to group, he killed me…Anyway... We spent the night in a park and at the time and put many things in my head that I went crazy; and I want to live in a world where there is pain or grief, which only sounds music and dance ballet, like Swan Lake, and I want to be like someone is important for anybody. :$.
There are people who have persecuted me in this life, good and bad people, pedophiles, Neos, junkies ... People who have screwed me well were the Neos , but I felt part of something ... and not made it happier; As a person who is most of my days with me, I'm starting to hate it.. I don’t know why.
Now I have another thing in mind besides death, is my favourite movie: Black Swan ... She's perfect, but ... the problem is that I've gone crazy with the fucking movie... the movie is not out of my head.
I want to stay in my world, because when I try to go out, my lungs with air from screaming. I always cry day and night without knowing why! I always dream with some people... things that are not normal….in my soul There's a war, this is how I feel…. she is my guide or maybe they when I'm lost… When I look for happiness. I’m now in love with people who are perfect, is sad, very sad. In this life I am nothing. I guess I’m a bad person. People say I'm weird and I scare small children, but I don’t think so, but I think I'm crazy or maybe no, but my friends say I look like the Black Swan. I see things that are not real and I feel that in reality things don’t exist, is horrible because at first you have it under control but after time you see that no.
The only thing good that I have are my friends and my family, I want to be a dancer or maybe an actress… but all this is just a dream.
I’ve been thinking a lot… and I have taken this decision, you may I’m crazy and perhaps have the right. But they don’t know what I feel, I have my reasons wich are not ask me… They are better than to be alive or at least I think so.
This pain is unbearable also forgive you; when they see me here, in a dark bedroom, I can’t live under these circumstances. She makes me feel like I'm part of the world, unlike other people who hate me to death..... Thank you ... I love you, I need you more than anyone else. In one word I can sum up everything I have learned from life: Nothing. I love you too and I he will never stop loving you I will, these are the words I said to someone who said he loved me, Tomorrow will be harder, I have your scent on the head all day (...) If I lay on you any time also have to start again too. I just wanna be perfect, but I keep trying, I guess is my personality what makes people don’t love me… My personality is like the sweetgirl in Black Swan, She’s it is cold, fearful, fragile But I also look at black swan it is the opposite of the white Swan. I give my life for people who don’t do for me, I would, but why… I need to be less shy and say that I would die for these people ¿no? My life is like the life of a dancer, too stressful and obsessed with things that make no sense.For example with the Black Swan, always I’m thinking about that Up to a point where you think you are.
All I want in my life is that some people want me I can never know, my life is shit compared to these people…. Is like I’m always writing, crying, and nothing else…
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario